Friday, July 3, 2009

Chaos responds to Little Timmy


Boy, Little Timmy, sounds like you've been railroaded by the good people at the United States Of America Military Complex. See these people give your Daddy a job that doesn't have an end to it. That's called an exit strategy and President Bush just kind of forgot to include one, the way you sometimes forget to include your homework and say the dog ate it. President Bush's dog ate it, his wife spilled coffee all over it, he forgot it at the diner last night, Mean Mr. Cheney burned a giant hole in it with his monster devil vision, Mr. Rumsfeld couldn't be bothered with the poor saps who volunteered to fight for all the rich jerks who you might as well learn at your young age are going to find a million ways to hold you down and perpetuate the vicious cycle known as class warfare. Wait, I need to breathe, like my yoga instructor insists or I go into a foaming socialist diatribe and that only ends in common sense solutions and Chaos sitting alone in a dark city apartment cluttered with regret and dog-eared manifestos from the Cuban Revolution. I'm glad to hear from you Little Timmy and can tell you that your mom is right, girls are pretty cool and you will like them later in life. As for helping your Dad out, we recommend starting a lemonade stand and raising enough dinero to fund your own activist movement that can take the streets by surprise with the always winning combination of childhood innocence, (and that's evident in your picture, you little son of a shooting gun), and revolutionary rhetoric backed up with just enough homemade explosives to make them respect the masses and their numbers. If that doesn't work, write or call your local senator or congressman and take part in the wonderful world of democracy. That's all we can tell you little feller,


Your big, expansive pal,


American Chaos

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