Hey, there riflemen and gun toting, keep voting pals of mine! It's time for another Rifle Report from the Gun Club where safety ain't just the thing that keeps you from shooting yourself or somebody else you didn't see behind that deer blind. The midwest is reporting brisk sales of rifles, shotguns and anything else you can pry from the cold, dead hands of childhood gun violence. Special thanks to Walmart for doing their part again. The South and Western Big Sky Country regions are reporting rifles up, targets down, AK47's up, endangered species down. Them liberals out east are lagging behind as usual, the only ones keeping up their side of the gun bargain are New Hampshire and they report brisk sales for those who can't wait all day for some politician to sell them a gun or recently had to stay in a mental health facility to curb their anger and shut them nosey voices down. Inner city gangs report illegal firearms up, male teen population down, drive-by shooting up, responsible gun laws down. Thanks to all our friends at the NRA for that last one, where would this club be without you guys? Well, that's the Gun Club Rifle Report for this week, and tell a victim of a gun crime that guns don't kill people, people with guns kill people. Now, quiet down, I got a clear shot at a deer at the petting zoo.
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