The Indicted States Of America Salutes Illinois

Special Thanks to Miss America's Kindergarten Class for Graphics. Hope you enjoyed your field trip to the land of Chaos and that you'll come back next year!

We know that there have been 3,000 blogs using the Indicted States of America. We are also aware that every right wing wacko has jumped all over the Rod Blagojevich indictment as evidence that liberals would steal their grandmothers iron lung if it meant sticking it to the Republicans and the working white man. What we aim to do with this piece is to bring in to the spotlight some of our states that are actually part of this wonderful world of indictment. Where others may be embarassed about this trend, we at American Chaos choose to joyfully salute those that stooped so low to lift so high the banner of answering the Kennedy question of long ago, the one about blah, blah, ringing rhetoric and "... what you can do for your country!" that has somehow resulted in the response of " Anything that involves pay for play, a little of the nepotiz, and videotaped evidence that I was unaware of at the time, your honor, so help me God and anyone else who can use the winsch of federal influence to pull my ass out of this sinkhole."


Yes, Chaossins, today we salute the state of Illinois where 79 people have been indicted for various acts of corruption and where Governors may have an equal chance of ending their careers in Stateville as they would at a State School teaching Political Discourse as opposed to Political Intercourse which is a completely different edition of Indicted States Of America- The Pantsless Pols. Illinois, we commend you for re-electing morally bankrupt individuals with the misguided vision of a blind lady justice who keeps saying her boyfriend will stop drinking and get a job that doesn't involve money drops and Roland Burris denying a connection to whatever it is we're talking about in the media. We commend you for The Helmet Haired One and his Attention Starved Wife who play more like My Name is Earl than even the lowest rent Hamlet. Yes, Illinois, as your state song says, " By your rivers gently flowing Illinois, Illinois", floats the biggest craps game of George Ryans, Otto Kerners, Paul Powell shoeboxes and other state capital goodies that any of the other 49 would give their slightly sullied reputations for in an effort to just make the pay for playing field even. Illinois, you are part of this big wonderful Indicted States of America, where it isn't against the law or the higher principles of society if you don't get caught or can convince the public of a vast conspiracy that only a megalomaniac who peddles influece like Lance Armstrong peddles up hills in the Grand Prix , can conceive in their wildest, opiated dreams. Oh, sure, absolute power corrupts absolutely, says that killjoy of past history, and we will be the first to echo that sentiment, but it definitely makes talk radio worth listening to for at least the time it takes to go to the store and back and that is something we will always stand by as every bit American as apple pie, racial profiling, and passing the blame. Next week we salute- The South- The Gateway to Sexually Scandalous America!